I thought I would update on my own experience, so it would make other moms who are having a little trouble feel less guilty

The first few days of Ramadan seemed to be going fine…and then slowly, slowly, I got more and more exhausted by the time iftaar came around. I think this may also have had to do with the fact that I have never eaten a lot in suhur or iftaar; I get full too quickly. During pregnancy, I just snack a lot.

The hour before iftaar was pretty hard; I would get shaky, my body would ache because it felt weak, and my husband told me I was getting a lot meaner at that time too.

I actually wanted to skip a day, then, but I decided to wait for my doctor’s appointment before I skipped a fast. I wanted to make sure I had an excuse. The doctor has other Muslimah patients, so she knew about fasting, Ramadan, and the exception for pregnant women. As soon as she put the doppler on, I knew something was wrong because the baby’s heartbeat sounded a lot slower than usual. Plus, there would be occasional drops of the heartbeat and then it would pick back up. I asked her if everything was ok, and she said that they would monitor the baby for a little while to make sure.

Uh-oh. My husband was really worried. Alhamdulillah, when they monitored the baby, she said everything looked fine and the drops in heart rate were probably related to dehydration. This was mid-day, so imagine how dehydrated the baby must be by iftaar!

One day, I actually felt faint and dizzy. We went out somewhere that day, before iftaar time, and by the time I got home, I was faint, had a headache, and felt like I would pass out. After reading this answer from Islam Q&A, I felt a lot better. The fatwa is a bit long, but I felt this part pertained to pregnant women the most:

[...] where the pregnant woman is not able to fast, either because the pregnancy is advanced or because she is physically weak, or for some other reason. In this case she should not fast, especially if her foetus is likely to be harmed, in which case it may be obligatory for her not to fast. If she does not fast, then like others who do not fast for a valid reason, she has to make up the days when that excuse no longer applies. When she gives birth, she has to make up those fasts after she becomes pure from nifaas. But sometimes the excuse of pregnancy may be lifted but then immediately followed by another excuse, namely breastfeeding. The breastfeeding mother may need food and drink, especially during the long summer days when it is very hot. So she may need not to fast so that she can nourish her child with her milk. In this case we also say to her: Do not fast, and when this excuse no longer applies, then you should make up the fasts that you have missed. 

I’m still worried about having to make up fasts for the around 15+ days that are left, so I thought it would be a good compromise to fast alternate days (fast one day, leave one day, fast one day, leave one day….) That way, I figured the baby and me could get our strength (and fluids!) back for the next day of fasting.

But please don’t take my word for this, check with your doctor AND local Imaam They know your own situation better than anyone, and you know your health better than anyone, so don’t be too hard on yourself. I was kind of upset and feeling like I was weak because I know there are many moms who DO fast while pregnant. But I realized I should think about the baby first and not push myself for his/her sake.

May Allah accept from all of us this Ramadan!

 Alhamdulillah this Ramadan I am expecting my second baby. I am in my third trimester, and as with Ibraheem, I faced the very frustrating dilemma: should I fast? The first thought that would come to mind is, “Just ask your doctor.” My doctor being non-muslim, I just assume she’s going to say no, so I don’t bother.

With my first pregnancy, my husband insisted that I not fast. He is the son of a doctor….so that, coupled with my due date being just around Eid time, I did not fast the entire Ramadan. Qadr Allahu ma sha fa’aal.

This Ramadan, with 40 make-up fasts piling on me, I REALLY didn’t want to miss another month of fasting and have that weight on my shoulders. I took the advice of many sisters and tried it out – and alhamdulillah – it’s been great so far!

I found this answer about fasting while pregnant/nursing on Muslimmatters:

Question: If a sister is pregnant during Ramadan and unable to fast and then by the time the next Ramadan comes she is nursing, how is she to make up her fast? What about sisters who have pregnancies close together and miss Ramadan for a few years in a row? Does she have to make all those years up or is there an expiation like feeding a poor person, and is it different if it is just one pregnancy or is it a different ruling if it is continuous years that are missed?

 

Sh. Yasir Qadhi: Realize first that just because a sister is pregnant or nursing, it does not automatically exempt her from the fast. Rather, she should examine her situation and if fasting makes life very difficult for her or is harmful to the child. A nursing mother could express milk after iftar and then use that for the next day. Or if the child is older and can take other food, she really should examine such an option. If she can’t fast, some scholars say she only needs to feed a poor person, but the majority oppose that opinion and say if a woman does not fast, her position resembles someone who can’t fast because they are sick or traveling, who make up fasting days later. Pregnancy or nursing is a temporary problem. However, make-up fasts don’t have to be done continuously. Even if a woman didn’t fast for 4 or 6 years, she has to make it up but not continuously and no expiation at all necessary. This is the strongest position.

Fasting while pregnant is MUCH easier than fasting while nursing. When I was nursing Ibraheem, he was maybe 11 months? Almost a year. That means he had been introduced to solids for some time, of course, but it was still VERY difficult for me to fast. For me (and I’d imagine most sisters), skipping a single meal means less milk prodcution. Actually, being hungry for longer than an hour would mean no milk. So unless your baby is onto solids, I would recommend being cautious about fasting the entire Ramadan while nursing.

While you’re pregnant – there are a few things I would consider:

What trimester are you in?

If it’s your first, it’s probably going to be ok. From what I’ve heard and experienced myself, the worse nausea is in the first trimester. You don’t really want to eat anything. Although, this is also the trimester when you feel weak the most and have the least energy. Taking extra iron along with your vitamins in the morning is also a good idea.

The second trimester, for me, is the hardest, because that’s when I put on the most weight. I also got my energy back (relief from all that morning sickness….), so that would probably make things easier. But every woman knows her own health better than anyone Just make sure to eat well and full at suhur and iftaar.

The third trimester may sound as if it’s the hardest – but alhamdulillah it’s been working out great so far! The only thing I’ve been worried about in the least is water intake. I just make sure to drink 4 glasses in the morning and then as many as I can guzzle at night.

Working, At home, On your feet?

Obviously a girl’s lifeestlye would affect whether or not it would be a good idea for her to fast. For me, alhamdulillah, I have a lot of help at home. My husband makes his schedule very flexible for me to take me to get groceries or any other chores that require a lot of walking. Otherwise, I’m at home with my toddler all day (some would argue that is more strenuous than any chore )

Difficult Pregnancy?

SubhaanAllah no problems so far in either pregnancy for me. If you’re having some sort of pregnancy complications or an at-risk pregnancy…by all means, do not fast!

Stay hydrated!

Everyone knows that a pregnant woman spends a good chunk of her day in the bathroom, emptying her bladder. Eck. So make sure to stay very well hydrated! Like I mentioned before, get up extra early for suhur and drink as much water as you can while preparing the food. Set a quota for yourself – a certain amount that you have to finish every morning. You’re more likely to drink more this way. Also, once you have iftaar, keep a water bottle by you at all times. If you go to the masjid, slip a bottle in your purse.

Eat your vitamins

Most women do not have to be told this, but apparently I do…. I also take extra iron, which is probably a good idea to take a few times a week even if you’re not anemic.

Give Yourself a Break

You’re pregnant, so don’t push yourself. Any physical strain you take may affect the baby. I know there are some sisters (hehe also relatives of mine…) that just don’t know when to stop and take a break. A 10 minute  nap can do wonders. Rest as much as you can.

Don’t stress too much about fasting while pregnant – it’s really pretty easy! (Much easier compared to fasting while nursing, if your baby lapped up milk like my Ibraheem did!) And definitely don’t assume it can’t be done. I think first time moms are worried about their baby’s health AND their husbands probably pressure them to not fast “for the baby’s health.”

In the end, you know your health better than anyone. Give it a try. If you can fast, alhamdulillah. If not, Allah subhaana wa ta’aala has allowed you to make them up later for the sake of your health. May Allah make it easy on all of the pregnant moms.

To all the mommies out there – pregnant and non pregnant – remember to make loads of du’aa` for your children this month. And please remember the rest of the Muslim children and the Muslimeen in your prayers as well.

Also see Part 2.