Child Molestation in the Ummah February 21, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Pregnancy and Children, Women and Islam.Tags: child molestation, muslims
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It happens. We all know it does. And it makes my blood boil that this issue is not addressed. Growing up, that was my worse fear – that someone close to me would have that happen to them. I’ve always been very strong willed (and I thank my father for that!), but I was always worried that it would happen to a timid sister that I knew.
And before the age of 10, it did. I now know several sisters who have been molested, sadly. And my younger sister told me that she knows many more. It really depresses me: WHY is this so rampant? Aside from the perverts who have no fear of Allah, I believe the mothers are at fault. If we don’t address the perversion, then who will?
Why do I think the mothers are at fault? For several reasons: 1) We do not accept that it is a major problem. 2) We do not address it and discuss these issues with our children. 3) We deny it.
What happens when a victim of child molestation confides in someone? Sadly, in all cases I have heard about child molestation, this is what I see: the stick-your-head-in-the-sand-and-maybe-it’ll-go-away attitude coming from the mother (or whoever the poor child confides in).
Four words: Get over your shyness. Shame on you for not being a good mother.
Allah gave us Islam and gave us honor. Do not choose culture over Islam - you will only humiliate yourself.
There is a serious problem if you cannot trust that your own daughter or son could come to you if they ever had trauma like that. Allah protect our kids.
Anyways, enough of my rant 
SubhaanAllah, I was planning on doing some research on it and writing about it, but Umm Reem did it for me. And she did a really good job of it, mashaAllah. I’m so glad to see it addressed. Please read all of the articles she wrote on it (there are like 6 parts…)
What is the wisdom behind it? February 14, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Uncategorized.Tags: Islam
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I don’t know if it’s just the culture in America or what, but I find that we ask this question a lot. Whenever we find that we don’t agree with something, or even if we just don’t like it, we ask, “Well, what is the wisdom behind it?”
Think of it like this — Say someone is taking a biology class. They’re in lab, and the teacher is dividing the class into groups of three.
“Why groups of three?” one student asks. “Why not groups of two?”
“We’re an odd numbered class,” the teacher says.
“Oh.” The students’ eyes sweep over the class quickly. “Well, we could also do groups of five.”
“Split into groups of three,” the teacher repeats firmly.
Before explaining how to dissect the frog, the teacher instructs everyone to wear gloves. A student raises their hand and asks, “Why do we have to wear gloves?” The teacher blinks at the student for a second, and you know she’s shocked by the stupidity of it, but she patiently explains, “For sanitary reasons.”
The teacher begins the dissection and instructs the class on where to make the incision. Once again, the student raises her hand and says, “Why not make the incision along the leg?” The teacher resplies somewhat sharply this time, “Because … all of the organs we want to look at are not contained within the leg.”
Even before the teacher can move on to the next step, our inquisitive student bursts out with – “But what is the wisdom behind dissecting the frog in the first place?”
And then … well, you get the point
Allah is our Creator. He cannot in anyway be likened to a teacher. So if you found those string of questions somewhat insulting (to the teacher) and stupid, how wrong do you think it is of us to question Allah’s commandments for us to do something? Allah, Who created us. Allah, who knows everything. Allah, who is our God, and Whose worshipping is our only reason of existence.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t ask questions in the deen. Nope, not at all. When I was a teenageer, I questioned a lot of things. Alhamdulillah, I found the answers to all of them.
I just think that once we have asked our questions, and we believe in One God, and we believe that Muhammad sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam was the Last Prophet, then it is stupid of us to question every little thing we don’t agree with.
Islam is submission. It does not mean ‘peace’ (I was so sick of hearing that in the media…) Islam is submission to Allah. The One God. How can we say we’ve submitted if we question every nit picky thing that does not conform to our desires?
Just a reminder, for myself first…and then to anyone else who cares to listen 
Ghafoor Ar-Raheem February 12, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Qur'an Reflections.Tags: Allah's Names, Ar-Raheem, Bayyinah, Ghafoor
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I mentioned before that I took a class with Bayyinah, and that my favorite parts of the class were when we talked about the eloquence of the Qur’aan, and the subtelties in Arabic that we do not notice as English speakers – or rather, as non-Arabic readers. Here is another example of one of the amazing things we discussed, when we talked about Allah’s Beautiful Names Ghafoor and Ar-Raheem.
Over 70 times in the Qur’aan, Allah ends an ayah with these two beautiful Names of His: Ghafoor (Forgiving) and ar-Raheem (Merciful).
If something is dirty/bad, it must be cleansed before it is made good. Similarly, Allah must forgive us (Ghafoor) before He rewards us through His Mercy with Jannah (Raheem).
There is only one ayah that does not mention those two Names in that order. And that is the ayah in Surah Saba. Allah says:
وهو الرحيم الغفور
In the following ayah, He talks about the coming of the Hour (the day of judgment). In this situation, we need Allah’s Mercy first, when we die. And we need His forgiveness afterwards, when we are resurrected. SubhaanAllah.
Menstruation and Lochia: Lesson 1 February 11, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Women and Islam.Tags: Islam, rulings on lochia, rulings on menstruation
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Bismillah.
A few things – I learned from SunniPath’s website that I cannot put up transcripts of the lessons, therefore I shall not But inshaaAllah I will put up bits and pieces that I thought would help a lot of sisters practically. And if your questions are not answered by those pieces, then inshaaAllah it will encourage you to take the class yourself
Another thing is that this is the Hanafi madhab. Please keep that in mind.
Introduction
The first thing to know is that this knowledge is obligatory for women, husbands and guardians of girls to learn because these rulings affect many aspects of our life. The scholars have agreed that it is obligatory to know ilm al haal – which is the personally obligatory knowledge in regards to the state one is in.
Islam means submission. Being a Muslim was all about submitting to Allah and His rules. It was all about doing things Allah’s Way and following the Law because of the Law Maker. Every law has a law maker and Allah is the Law Maker of the sacred law.
You could ask intellectually: “What is the difference between fasting from sunrise to isha and fasting from fajr to maghrib? It’s the same amount of time.” The difference is (more…)
SunniPath: 2nd Live Session February 8, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Uncategorized.add a comment
[rant] So I was planning on putting up my notes from the first lesson + the first live session…. but man, I did not like the format.
I was told that the teacher would give top priority to questions asked on the forums, but we seemed to jump to live questions about 5 minutes in. I did not like this, because most of the questions people were asking were not related to lesson 1 at all. Some of them were related to lessons like two or three weeks (maybe more!) ahead. Or maybe I was missing something?
Anyways, and then halfway through, we lost electricity – which has never happened at our apartment before. Alhamdulillah though…I thought it was a blessing in disguise, because I was getting so frustrated during the session. I couldn’t keep up with the questions, and people just kept asking question after question….
Maybe that’s how things are done at SunniPath? I guess the live sessions are just Q&A’s….I was just expecting a more orderly Q&A.
[/rant]
Alhamdulillah, I like listening to the pre-recorded lectures, so maybe I should just stick to listening to the “live session” later
My First Class with SunniPath February 6, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Uncategorized.Tags: Classes on Islam, Islam, lochia, menstruation, Sunni Path
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Bismillah.
So I’m taking my first class with Sunni Path this semester. I’ve taken classes with AlMaghrib, Bayyinah and even a weekend seminar with Hamza Yusuf, but never a class with SunniPath. I tried AOU, but didn’t like it much. I usually don’t like online classes. I prefer to see the teacher face to face, but I didn’t really have many options for Islamic knowledge left, so I figured I would take it how I can get it.
Alhamdulillah, I’m really glad I signed up for this one – an Intro to the Fiqh of Menstruation and Lochia. (Lochia is the bleeding you have after a baby.) This is a subject I find myself (and almost all other Muslim sisters) very confused about – What can I or can’t I do while on my period?! And of course…the many questions pregnancy related, etc.
This class seems much more interactive than I had expected, but I’ll keep updates for how I like the lay out inshaAllah.
InshaAllah I will post up my notes bit by bit so that they may answer some questions – or maybe a lot – that many sisters like me have.
And if you can – definitely sign up for the class!
The Story of Shu’ayb/Shu’aib: Part 2 February 5, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Lives of the Prophets: Anwar Al-Awlaki.Tags: advice of shu'ayb, Shu'aib
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Bismillah. I really liked this section. Shu’ayb ‘alayhis sallam gives some really beautiful advice.
Next up inshaa Allah: Ya’qoob and Yusuf [Jacob and Joseph.]
Some Sayings of Shu’ayb
We will mention some of the sayings that were mentioned in the Qur’aan. In these ayaat, Shu’ayb has six pieces of advice that he is giving everyone. He said: “O my people! Tell me, if I have a clear evidence from my Lord, and He has given me a good sustenance from Himself (shall I corrupt it by mixing it with the unlawfully earned money). I wish not, in contradiction to you, to do that which I forbid you. I only desire reform so far as I am able, to the best of my power. And my guidance cannot come except from Allah, in Him I trust and unto Him I repent. And O my people! Let not my Shiqaq cause you to suffer the fate similar to that of the people of Nuh (Noah) or of Hud or of Salih (Saleh), and the people of Lout (Lot) are not far off from you! ” (11:88-89)
1. “I wish not, in contradiction to you, to do that which I forbid you.” Shu’ayb is saying, I do not want to do something that is contradicting my words. If I say something, I must do it. That is a very important quality of the believer. The opposite is what hypocrites do – they say things and don’t act upon them. And they say things and do the opposite. This is a very dangerous thing.
RasulAllah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam says that there will be a man in Hell, running around his intestines, so the people of Hell fire will tell him, “You have harmed us. Weren’t you in dunya, telling us to do good and preventing us from doing evil?” Why was he punished? (more…)
The Story of Shu’ayb/Shu’aib: Part 1 February 5, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Lives of the Prophets: Anwar Al-Awlaki.Tags: people of Madyan, Shu'aib, Shu'ayb
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So this story was suprisingly super long, and I will post it in two pieces… I was surprised at how much I did not know about this story (or didn’t remember).
Bismillah.
The Story of Shu’ayb
Orator of the Prophets
InshaAllah, we will talk tonight about khateeb ul Ambiya – the speaker of the ambiya or the orator of the ambiya. Allah has given him eloquent speech. He had beautiful words of wisdom and advice (naseeha) that he delivered to his people. His story is short, but it is full of meanings for us to learn. Allah did not mention to us the story of any nabiy (prophet or messenger) except that there lessons for us to learn.
This nabiy is Shu’ayb ‘alayhis salaam. We do not know exactly where he lies, according to the chronological order. He is from the descendants of Ibraheem. Some scholars say that Shu’ayb is the one who, the Qur’aan talks about, married his daughter to Musa. But the Qur’aan doesn’t specifically state that it was Shu’ayb. It just says that Musa got married to his wife in Madyan. Some ‘ulamaa` say that it could be Shu’ayb, because Shu’ayb was from Madyan. It wouldn’t do any benefit us to know when this happened, because the essence of the lessons are there – whether it happened long before Musa or at the time of Musa. It doesn’t make a difference.
The Cheating People of Madyan
Shu’ayb made da’wah to his people in Madyan. Allah says: “to the people of Madyan, we sent Shu’ayb, one of their own brethren.” (7:85) What does brother mean here? It means that he was one of them. He was part of those people.
In another ayah, Allah says: “The people of al aiyka disbelieved in the messengers when Shu’ayb was sent to them [….]” (26:176-7) When it talks about ‘Aad, it says “their brother Hud” and when it talks about Lut it says “their brother Lut”, etc. It doesn’t say “their brother Shu’ayb.” Why? Ibn Katheer says because (more…)
The Venting Epidemic February 4, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Women and Islam.Tags: complaining, dangers of the tongue, Islam
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We all know of the dangers of backbiting. In the Qur’aan, Allah subhaana wa ta’aala likened it to eating the flesh of your dead brother. Allah says: “Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (49:12)
A lot of the times, you might here a brother or sister say something bad about another person and then add offhandedly at the end, “I’m not trying to gossip about him/her. It’s true.” Did the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam say that we can say something bad about somoene behind their back as long as it is true?
The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” The Sahabah said, “Allah and His messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother which he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said,
“If what you say is true, then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” (Muslim, 2589)
Recently, it’s begun to bother me alot: what about venting – complaining to someone just to “get things off your chest? Women do it all the time. As I tell my husband, it’s therapeutic. We just want to say our mind and have someone listen, possibly sympathize, and then we feel much better and can move on.
But is venting/complaining a sin?
The most simple way of resolving that, that I could think of, is asking yourself: are you backbiting? Usually, when we are venting, our complaints can be categorized into 3 categories: 1) we are complaining about someone, 2) we are complaining about something that happened that day or a situation or 3) we are complaining about physical ailments. If the answer is 1, we most definitely know that it’s wrong. As my son would say, “Hakka makka!” (Which translates to “Haram ‘alayk”).
Then comes scenario two and three… Those I have no clue about. Both situations seem to be complaining about the qadr of Allah and will probably overlap with ungratefulness…So over all, not looking too good 
The best thing to do when your heart feels uneasy about something is to avoid it.
The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Both legal and illegal things are evident but in between them there are doubtful (suspicious) things and most of the people have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from these suspicious things saves his religion and his honor. [...] [Bukhaari, 1/2/49]
It’s easier said than done, I know. The tongues are the easiest things to be careless about, yet they will get us into the most trouble. May Allah subhaana wa ta’aala purify our hearts, our actions and the words that come from our lips.
Also see: Exceptions of backbiting (post 22) and Backbiting
