Love Me October 30, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Marriage.Tags: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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This is part four of my Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series.
How to Motivate the Opposite Sex
We already talked about how Martians (Men) and Venesians (Women) used to live on different planets and have completely different lifestyles. Well, for Venesians, their way of life was: “I give so you can win.” Martians had a completely different mentality – “I want to win, and I don’t care if you lose.”
When a man is in love, his selfish way of thinking changes, and he is motivated to be the best he can in order to serve others. Given the oppurtunity to prove his potential, he expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old, selfish ways.
When a man doesn’t feel that he is making a positive difference in someone else’s life, it’s hard for him to care about his life and relationships. He has to feel needed to be motivated. Not being needed is a slow death for a man.
Women, by nature, are very giving. When they are with a man, they are happy to have someone taking care of them for a change. Basically, men want to love and take care of someone and women want to be loved and taken care of. It works out so perfectly, subhaanAllah 
As a man matures, he learns (more…)
Globophobia October 29, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
This post is so random…so excuse my ranting.
I have globophobia, which is an irrational fear of balloons. I’m not ashamed of it, it’s just something that’s a part of me. And I wouldn’t mind telling people, if they didn’t look at me as if I’ve sprouted antennae right after I tell them. Oh, and by “people”, I mean “desis.” Sadly, I don’t really think that the majority of people back home understand phobias. Every time it does happen to crop up, they’ll kind of stare at me as if I’m stupid or as if they’re waiting for me to take back what I said. My own parents won’t admit I have globophobia! Forget getting aquaintances and aunties to understand.
So – what is it exactly? I forgot who – but someone – asked me recently if I imagine the balloons attacking me or turning into monsters or something. I thought that was pretty hilarious 
No. That is most certainly not the case. I’m not a three year old 
I’m a healthy, (fairly) normal 24 year old woman. Globophobia – for me – isn’t the actual fear of the balloon, it’s the anticipation of it popping. Hence, the bigger and shinier they are, the more nervous I am. And, what gets even weirder is that I’m not afraid of the popping. I like it when they pop. Because then they are gone. Good riddance.
I hate it. I’d like to tell my parents – and all those desis and everyone else who looks at me strange when I mention it – trust me, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t be globophobic.
I think it took root at my first birthday party – kids kept coming in my face and popping balloons. Childhood trauma 
Now, any time I go to a party, the entire ride, my palms are sweating (literally), my heart is palpating and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. It’s quite horrible. I hate it. I’m gripped with this terror the whole time. It sounds ridiculous, perhaps, but there you have it. And the whole time, I’ll just be thinking about how I can leave early. Once there, I assess the situation quickly. I have to go through all these mental maneuvers and consolations to keep my heart from palpating, to keep my breathing even – “It’ll be over soon” – “Look, dessert! Ooh, cheesecake!” – “Don’t look that way – this side of the room doesn’t have any” – “It’s ok, just send the kids to their dad if they want balloons.”
There you have it. I admitted it to the world (or anyone willing to read through all of this waffle).
I have an irrational fear of balloons. And to anyone who thinks it’s stupid or doesn’t make sense — I. Don’t. Care.
A Spin on Rice Krispie Treats October 29, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Recipes.1 comment so far
My mom makes these Peanut Butter Rice Krispie treats – y’know, cause it’s so hard to find halal marshmallows? A looong time ago, she got the recipe from a friend. They’re really good – nice and chewy! I never tried to make them at home though.
Yesterday we had a bunch of guests over, so I thought I’d forego my usual trifle (I figure people are sick of it by now….) and look up something new. I made these “Crunchy Fudge Sandwiches.” Maaan they came out niiice. I know I’ll be making these a lot And they’re so easy to make too – takes 20 minutes tops!
Here’s the link to their site and I’ll put it here too, in case they take it down.
Ingredients:
Procedure:
2. Add KELLOGG’S RICE KRISPIES cereal to butterscotch mixture, stirring until well coated. Press half of cereal mixture into 8 x 8 x 2-inch pan coated with cooking spray. Chill in refrigerator while preparing filling. Set remaining cereal mixture aside.
3. Combine chocolate morsels, powdered sugar, butter and water. Stir over very low heat until chocolate melts and mixture is well blended. Spread over chilled cereal mixture. Spread remaining cereal mixture evenly over top. Press in gently. Chill. Remove from refrigerator for about 10 minutes before cutting into squares. Devour
Al-Nawawi & the People October 29, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Hadith, Islam.Tags: death of An-Nawawi
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This section is about how Al-Nawawi stood up in defense of the people against the sultan. It is quite lengthy and includes the actual text of the letters sent to the Sultan. If I were to discuss the stories, I might as well type up the whole chapter. So inshaAllah a few snippets and the gist of the letters will have to do.
Al-Nawawi understood very well the evil of disobeying Allah. He would not accept or remain silent in the presence of any evil, no matter who or what the source. He stood up for the sake of Allah and he feared the punishment of no one but Allah. He once stated that he considered dying for the sake of Allah an act of worship.
Hence, he would stand up to the king, the other scholars, the powers that be and anyone else for the sake of Allah.
At the same time, he understood very well the words of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
“The religion is sincere advice.”
He took it upon himself to advise those who were doing wrong. He used soft speech and convincing arguements from the Qur’an and Sunnah wherever appropriate. If this had no affect, then he would take a harsher approach to try to correct the wrong that appeared around him. 
The leader of the Muslims during much of Al-Nawawi’s lifetime was Sultan al-Dhaahir. He was the one who fought the Mongols and handed them a great defeat. However, his status and popularity did not prevent Al-Nawawi from standing up to him when he was wrong. He would approach him personally in the Hall of Justice (Daar al-’Adl) or write to him if necessary.
He wrote many letters to the Sultan in defense of the people. First, he wrote to him in regards to the unfair taxes on the people and later on because of the harsh treatment in regards to their properties.
Al-Nawawi also stood up for (more…)
Isbaal & The Beard October 25, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in AlMaghrib, Islam.Tags: Precious Provisions, Yasir Qadhi
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I realize that I have not been keeping up with my notes from Precious Provisions. I really need to take a time management class…Anyways, we shall continue inshaAllah with the Fiqh of Men’s Clothing.
After this is the sisters’ Fiqh of Clothing!
Precious Provisions
taught by Yasir Qadhi
Section 4: Fiqh of Men’s Clothing
Isbaal
Isbaal comes from the verb sabala, which means to proceed down. Sabeel means a path/tunnel. So Isbaal technically means to lower the garments below the ankles.
*For women, this ruling is irrelevant.*
Once upon a time, isbaal was a sign of extravagance and arrogance. Amongst the Arabs, cloth was a rare commodity. Most Arabs only had two garments that they owned. Even the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam probably had three garments, at most, at the same time. So, they would wear what clothes they had at a high level [as in, high on their bodies] so as not to soil the garments. The rich and elite that could flaunt their wealth would make a point to wear their garments very low. Every culture and society has a way of flaunting their wealth – whether it’s through designer brands, etc. The way the Arabs did it was by lowering the garments. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam forbade this act.
The question arose: why was it forbidden? Was it associated with the pride and arrogance? Or is the act itself haram, (more…)
The Cave Man October 21, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Marriage.Tags: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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So this is part 3 of my Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series.
Stress Relief: the Cave of Solitude
Men and women cope with stress VERY differently. Men tend to become increasingly focused and withdrawn, while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. Men feel better by solving their problems and women feel better by talking about them
That is because martians are cavemen at heart A man will retreat to his cave (deep, deep in his cave…) to find a solution to his problem. And he will become so focused on solving his problem that he will temporarily lose awareness of everything else. This translates into becoming distant, forgetful and preoccupied. After all, Martians feel good about themselves when they accomplish goals themselves; there is no reason to bother anyone else. When he does solve his problem, he’ll feel better and reemerge from his cave.
If he can’t find a solution, he will remain stuck in the save. To become unstuck – and to help him focus better – he may solve problems of a smaller degree to help him forget the bigger problem. For example, he may read the news, exercise, etc.
How Women Feel About the Cave
In three words (more…)
An-Nawawi: Aqeedah and Works October 11, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Hadith, Islam.Tags: Jamaal Zarabozo
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Aqeedah
An-Nawawi never wrote a book on aqeedah. His aqeedah may, however, be derived from his commentary on Sahih Muslim.
When talking about difference of aqeedah, at least from what I noted in the chapter, the author is referring to the Names and Attributes of Allah subhaana wa ta’aala. Whatever Allah and His Messenger have said about Allah’s Attributes is accepted and true; without needing to reinterpret. Reinterpretation is known as ta’weel. For example, interpreting “Allah’s Hand” to mean His Power or Mercy would be ta’weel. Allah says He has a Hand, therefore, we believe that He has a Hand. wAllahu ‘Alam (Allah knows best).
An-Nawawi made ta’weel in his commentary of Sahih Muslim, but it would seem that An-Nawawi (more…)
An-Nawawi: The Life October 7, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Hadith, Islam.Tags: 40 hadith An-Nawawi
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We can learn a lot by looking at the lives of the pious predecessors. They should be our role models and the ones we strive to immitate. I personally love to read about the companions, scholars and prophets. Their stories are so uplifting and really make me feel shameful for how much time I waste and the life I live. Their examples are such an inspiration for Muslims everywhere.
Their examples demonstrate that in every age, there were pious Muslims who followed the way of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam without compromise and without giving into the desires of this world.
A lot of the time, I think we tend to see scholars and companions as in a far off world, as if they lived in a Eutopic world in which they didn’t have to face the real life problems that we face. On the contrary, I believe that their problems were far worse than ours.
The author says that he kept the chapter on the Imam’s life brief, but it’s 40+ pages long, mashaAllah! And worth reading every letter Alhamdulillah I split the chapter on the Imam’s life into three parts: his life, his aqeedah and works, and lastly his bravery (which I believe are mostly stories of him standing up for justice to the rulers). A lot of it is just taken straight from the book, because his life was so amazing, I just didn’t want to leave anything out
An-Nawawi: The Life
Background and Childhood
An-Nawawi lived during very turbulent times for the Muslims. In the 7th Century after Hijra (or 11th century A.C), the Mongols were invading the Muslims from the East and the Crusaders from the West. Despite these difficult times, the scholars of Islam kept the light of Islamic knowledge strong. Noor al-Deen Zanki (d. 569) revived Islamic studies in Ash-Shaam (“Greater Syra”). He opened many schools, including the first Dar al-Hadith in Damascus, Aleppo.
His name was Muhi al-Deen Abu Zakariya Yahya ibn Sharaf al-Hizaami al-Nawawi.
Muhi al-Deen means (more…)
Mama, I’m waiting for you in Jannah October 7, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in AlMaghrib, Awesome Lectures, Pregnancy and Children, Women and Islam.add a comment
I was soooo happy to see that someone would be doing a lecture for sisters (and brothers) who have had to lose a child. I personally know a few sisters who have had to go through a miscarriage…inshaAllah this will be what they have been waiting to hear.
You have to sign up for it, because they have limited seating, so hurry!
UPDATE: audio available here.
Discovering Mars October 5, 2009
Posted by ummibraheem in Marriage, Women and Islam.Tags: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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I figure writing about Martians would make sense as they are the ones I want to understand
One thing I repeatedly hear from my husband is that just because he is quiet does not mean he’s ignoring me. When I talk and he doesn’t reply or even acknowledge that I’ve spoken, that is a good thing. Why? Because martians are Mr. Fix Its.
Let me explain. On Mars, power, efficiency, competency and achievements are valued.
Their sense of self is defined by their ability to achieve results.
Men are more interested in objects and things rather than people and feelings. For example, while a woman may fantasize about (more…)
