Ettiquettes of Naseehah December 15, 2011
Posted by ummibraheem in Hadith, Islam.Tags: advice, Jamal Az-Zarabozo, naseehah, nasiha
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Bismillah. This is a continuation of our An Nawawi series (remember when I used to do that? Yes….I have not forgotten. My blogging took a hiatus.) The last hadith we had discussed was the hadith of Naseehah. We will repeat the hadith here to remind ourselves 
On the authority of Abu Ruqayya Tameem ibn Aus (may Allah be pleased with him) the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The religion is naseehah.” The people said, “To whom?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “To Allah and to His Book and to His Messenger and to the Leader of the Muslims and to the common folk of the Muslims.” (Recorded by Muslim.)
This is a very beautiful hadith, and many of us Muslims (including myself) misrepresent the words of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam in our zeal to apply them. Yes, we must give naseehah. But what is naseehah? And how must is be implemented?
The Enforcement Police
As we mentioned in our previous post, naseehah implies that one advise and guide others to what is best for them in this life and the hereafter. This was the job of the Messengers. When fulfilling the obligation of naseehah, we are following the sunnah of the noblest of creation – the Messengers.
A Muslim cannot be all to himself and not care about what is happening with his brothers and sisters. It is our obligation to make naseehah to other Muslims so that we may bringt about the best for them.
When giving naseehah, we must be kind and loving and sincere in our advice. We are doing just that – advising. It is not in our place to try and enforce the advice. We see that in ourselves these days – we advise and then want it to be implemented immediately. This was not the way of the Prophets (may Allah be pleased with all of them). Noah called his people to Allah for over 900 years!
Ibn Hazm points out that a person should nto make naseehah only on the condition that his advice is accepted. His responsibility is first and foremost to Allah. Even if the others do not accept his advice, he should still advise them. Furthermore, if they find taht his advice is not the best approach to follow, this is for them to decide.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever wishes to give advice to a ruler about a matter should not do so publicly. Instaed, he should take him by his hand and be alone with him [to talk to him] about it. If he accepts the advicefrom him [the matter is finished successfully]. If he does not [accept the advice], the person has fulfilled [the obligation] upon him.” (al-Haakim and Ahmad)
Don’t Smack Talk
This is a very simple and straight forward thing to know before giving advice: know what you’re talking about. Someone may think they know what they’re talking about, but they don’t. And we all know how deep the consequences can be for advice without any know-how. So make sure you know what you’re talking about first 
For Shame
Who is the biggest scumbag of all time? The King of the Damned? Hint: I’m thinking of a baby-murdering, narcisstic, self-appointed god. If you said Pharoah, then you would be right.
How did Allah tell Moses and Aaron to approach this evil tyrant?
“And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear Allah.” (Taha, 44)
Speak to who mildly? PHAROAH? Umm….are you sure? Yes, definitely. Naseehah must be given mildly, with sincerity and love. In general, the result of giving naseehah in a harsh manner or embarassing way would result in hatred and evil as well, and not corresponding good. But what if we were to give naseehah in private, to do it with kindness and in love? Would not such words be received more kindly?
There are a few points I wanted to make here: One, of course is to speak kindly and without harshness.
The second thing to point out here is that if there were anyone, in all of time, who deserved to be humiliated in public, it would be Pharoah. But that is not how Moses approached him. Our Muslim brothers, who are trying to follow Islam and obey Allah, deserve much more that we not shame them in public or embarass them in anyway. And you know what embarassing someone is. Just because it’s not done with vulgar remarks or inappropriate language, it can still be embarassing or harsh.
I remember going to a sisters’ halaqa given by an alimah. (more…)
