Bismillah, so this is kind of a prelude to the Fiqh of Women’s Clothing. Just a brief talk on gender roles – and most importantly womens’ roles – in the world. They are not all Yasir Qadhi’s words. Some are mine, and some are from a lecture series I attended by Yasir Birjas (I think a CD set was made on it as well).

Never in the history of humanity have the gender roles been as they are today, especially in the western world – America. Read books even 100 years ago, the roles were much different. The fact that we have to compromise is a given. You cannot live in a eutopic land when there is not a eutopic land around you.

Before talking about the Islamic side – we are going to look at the western side.

The Road to Now

The feminist movement has gone through three phases:

Late 19^th century – 1920s: woman’s right to vote and have her voice heard.

After world war I – the 60s: women had to take up the roles of men, working in factories, etc because the men were shipped off to war. Check out the “We can do it!” poster depicting a woman as masculine as possible.

The 70s bougth about the free expression of sexuality for women and the freedom to pursue an education. 80s – now: opportunities for women at the work place. Percentages of women working shot way up. Also, the idea that they should do exactly what the men do, such as female clergies, etc.

What is Equal?

The President of Harvard said in a speech: for some reason, men seem to have an aptitude for engineering more than women, and women seem to have an aptitude for humanities more than men. This caused such a huge national outcry that he had to resign from his post – and the comment wasn’t even derogatory! People are a little too zealous with the whole “gender equality.”

What do people mean when they say “gender equality”? Do they mean that we should be treated equally or that we are equal in every regard? Because, obviously, we should definitely be treated equally in terms of our taqwa and how we are judged as human beings. But what about our strengths and weaknesses? Our physical capabilities, areas in which we tend to excel or not?

Men and women are not the same. Allah created us differently. “The man is not like the woman.” (3:36) There is no comparison or competition. As mentioned before, in terms of taqwa and morals, one does not automatically have a degree over the other. We do, however, have different strengths and different primary roles.

Men are the Protectors of Women

“And men have a daraja over women.” (2:228) Daraja means a degree - the smallest degree. In certain regards, men have privileges. For example, in regards to divorce. Also, my husband points this out often -

The fact that they have more responsibilty in certain regards is actually a disadvantage to men.

Why? Because they have more to be held accountable for before Allah. So if a man is just, then that will be in favor of him, and if he’s not…well, that would seriously go against him because his wife and his children are a trust that Allah has given him. He is responsible, and if he doesn’t fulfill that responsibility, then he has a lot to answer for.

“Men are qawwaam over women because Allah has preferred the [one] over [the other].” (4:34) Qawwaam means they are the care taker; they are obliged to take care of women. The woman should not have to ever worry about paying rent or getting food, clothes, etc. That is not her responsibility.

Also, in regards to this ayah, men are responsible, at the end of the day, for what the sisters, wives, etc do. The men must advise them and keep them from doing things against Islam. If they don’t, then they(the man) may be punished for it! They have a sense of responsibility over women, more so than women have over men.

Hijaab in the Bible

Regarding Hijaab, Shaykh Yasir showed this video of Ahmed Deedat. He was asked by a non Muslim woman about hijaab. It’s not very long, so please watch. It’s funny too

Covering the Head is from ALL Abrahamic Religions

Covering the head and a woman’s body is something that Allah commanded in all Shari’ahs (religious laws).

“Every man w ho prays or prophesies with head covered dihonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head – it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved, she should cover her head [...] Judge for yourselves: Is is proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not th every nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice – nor do the churches of God. (Corinthians)

Nuns, of course, all of us have seen (well, all of us in the US are familiar with…), with their modest head coverings and clothes.

Even orthodox jews have to cover today. Within the orthodox jews, they are different levels – there’s the snood (kind of a big cap), the tichel (looks like a Muslim scarf tied behind your neck), and the wig. The only condition for the wig is it not come from the hair of a Jewish woman.

Let’s face it – the women who cover their hair of other religions are very few. But Muslimahs – ah by the thousands and millions. MashaAllah I love that when you’re out and you see another hijaabi – you know you’re looking at a sister. Instant unspoken kinship.

True feminity comes from a woman’s hayaa` (modesty). If Muslim women fail up to this responsibility, to reclaim their true feminity, then there is no hope for humanity. May God keep firm the Muslimahs of the world Ameen.

Bismillah.

This is al-Nawawi’s introduction to his 40 hadith. The explanation in Jamal Az-Zarabozo’s book is very lengthy, 30 something pages, so I’m just going to put up the stuff that stood out to me  The indented part is Al-Nawawi’s complete intro (in the beginning).

Also, the author of the book, Az-Zarabozo, goes into a SUPER lengthy discussion about dealing with weak hadith. I thought it was important, so inshaAllah I’ll do a seperate post on that.

Al-Nawawi’s Introduction

All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, the [One who] Sustains the Heavens and the Earth, Director of all that is created, who sent the messengers (peace and the blessings of Allah be upon them) to rational beings, to guide them and explain the religious laws to them with clear proofs and undeniable arguements. I praise Him for all of His bounties. I ask Him to increase His grace and generosity. I bear witness that there is none worhty of worship except Allah alone, who has no partner, the One Alone, the [One who] Subdues, the Generous, the Forgiving. I bear witness that our leader Muhammad is His servant and messenger, His beloved and dear one, the best of all creation. He was honored with the Glorious Quran that is the enduring miracle throughout all the years. He was also sent with his guiding sunnah that shows the way for those who seek guidance. Our leader Muhammad has been particularized with the characteristic of eloquent and pithy speech, and simplicity and ease in the religion. May the peace and blessings of Allah be uponhim, the other prophets and messengers, all of their families and the rest ofthe righteous.

To proceed:

We have narrated, through many chains of various narrations, from Ali ibn Abu Taalib, ‘Abdullah ibn Masood, Muaadh ibn Jabal, Abu al-Darda, ibn ‘Umar, ibn ‘Abbaas, Anas ibn Maalik, Abu Huraira and Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri – may Allah be pleased with all of them – that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Whoever preserves for my Nation forty hadith related to its religion, Allah will then resurrect him in the company of the savants and scholars.”

Another narration states, “Allah will raise him as an erudite and learned scholar.” In the narration from Abu al-Dardaa, it is stated, “On the Day of Resurrection, I will be an intercessor and witness for him.” In the narration from ibn Masood, it is stated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It will be said to him, ‘Enter Paradise through any door you wish.” In the narration by ibn ‘Umar, one finds the words, “He will be recorded among the company of the scholars and will be resurrected in the company of the martyrs.” The scholars of hadith agree that, although this hadith had numerous chains, it is weak.

The scholars (may Allah be pleased with them) have compiled inumberable works of this nature. The first one that I know of who compiled such a work was Abdullah ibn al-Mubaarak. After him came Aslam al-Toosi, a pious scholar. Then came al-Hasan ibn Sufyaan an-Nasaai, Abu Bakr al-Aajuri, Abu Bakr Muhammad ibn Ibraheem al-Asfahaani, al-Daaraqutni, al-Haakim, Abu Nuaim, Abu Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sulami, Abu Said al-Maleeni, Abu Uthmaan al-Saabooni, Abdullah ibn Muhammad al-Ansaari, Abu Bakr al-Baihaqi and countless others both from earlier and later times.

I have turned to Allah for guidance and prayed to Him while compiling these forty hadith, following the example of those Imams and guardians of Islam. The scholars have agreed that it is permissible to act in accord with weak hadith that state the virtuous deeds. Nonetheless, given that fact, I have not relied upon that hadith only in compiling this work. Instead, I am following the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him) found in an authentic hadith,

“Let him who was present among you inform those who are absent.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, “May Allah make radiant the man who has heard what I said, preserved it in his memory and conveyed it in the way he heard it.”

Scholars have compiled forty hadith on faith and belief (usool), on practical matters (furoo), on jihad, on austerity, on etiquette, and even on sermons. All of these [collections] were concerning righteous aims. May Allah be pleased with those who sought them. However, I have found it best to collect together forty hadith which are more important than all of those. These forty hadith incorporate all of those seperate topics. In fact, each hadith by itself a great general precept from the foundations of the religion. Some scholars state that all of Islam revolves around these hadith. Some have said, about one particular hadith, that they are one-half of Islaam, one-third of Islam and so forth.

I have committed myself to including only authentic hadith in these forty hadith. The majority of them are from Sahih al-Bukhaari or Sahih Muslim. I have mentioned them without their chain of authorities in order for it to be easier to memroize them and thus more will be able to benefit from them, Allah willing. After the hadith, I included a section on the meanings of the obscure expressions found in the hadith. [az-Zarabozo adds a footnote here and says that this part is not found in the translation, but in the commentary.]

Everyone who desires and looks forward to the Hereafter must be familiar with these hadith because they cover the most important aspects of the religion and offer direction to all forms of obedience to Allah. This is clear to anyone who ponders on these hadith.

I rely only upon Allah and I entrust my affair only to Him. To Him is all the Praise and grace, and from Him is guidance and protection from error.

This is the end of Al-Nawawi’s introduction. Some bits from Jamal Az-Zarabozo’s commentary follows.

Al-Nawawi always begins his work by praising Allah. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Every matter of importance that does not begin with praise [of Allah] is lacking in blessing.” This hadith was recorded by Abu Dawood and Ibn Maajah. Although this particular hadith is weak, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam began his khutbah al-Haajah with praise of Allah and other hadith mention him praising Allah before giving a speech, therefore it is Sunnah to begin with the praise of Allah.

One should also begin with the testimony of faith, for the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

“Every speech that does not include the testimony of faith is like a hand that has been cut off [that is, without any benefit].” (Abu Dawood, At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Habbaan, hasan or sahih).

And – I thought this was interesting - you always hear ‘amma ba’ad (translation: “to proceed”) in khutbahs.  It was the practice of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam to use this exprsesion. It shows that  one is moving from one idea or purpose to another. According to Ibn Hajr, the words “to proceed” are not essential, but one should use something that serves the same purpose.

Regarding the hadith – Let him who was present among you inform those who are absent - it was recorded by Bukhari and Muslim. It is an order from the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. It shows that he took steps to make sure that the Sunnah was preserved and conveyed.

The hadith saying, “May Allah make radiant the man…” is a mutawaatir hadith; it has been narrated by many companions.

Al-Nawawi did an amazing job in the hadith he chose to compile in his work. One of the reasons why his collection outlived many others is the importance of the hadith he chose. There are so many commentaries on his work. One of the more important ones is Ibn Rajab’s. Even to this day, modern scholars (such as Az-Zarabozo!) are commenting on his work, rahimahullah.

A note concerning the use of the word sahih or hasan by old time scholars: Many times they would use the word sahih for hadith that were hasan. Also, their grading of hadith is a matter of ijtihaad. In this collection, there are possibly two, three or four hadith which are neither hasan or sahih.

I realize I used a lot of terms in this post – mostly regarding hadith. They are new to me, although many brothers and sisters reading this probably know inshaAllah the next post will be about the meanings of these terms and will discuss weak hadith.

This is part four of my Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series.

How to Motivate the Opposite Sex

We already talked about how Martians (Men) and Venesians (Women) used to live on different planets and have completely different lifestyles. Well, for Venesians, their way of life was: “I give so you can win.” Martians had a completely different mentality – “I want to win, and I don’t care if you lose.”

When a man is in love, his selfish way of thinking changes, and he is  motivated to be the best he can in order to serve others. Given the oppurtunity to prove his potential, he expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old, selfish ways.

When a man doesn’t feel that he is making a positive difference in someone else’s life, it’s hard for him to care about his life and relationships. He has to feel needed to be motivated. Not being needed is a slow death for a man.

Women, by nature, are very giving. When they are with a man, they are happy to have someone taking care of them for a change. Basically, men want to love and take care of someone and women want to be loved and taken care of. It works out so perfectly, subhaanAllah

As a man matures, he learns that he may be giving up himself, but his major change is becoming more aware of how he can succeed in giving. Likewise, as a woman matures, although she learns new strategies for giving, her major changes tend to be learning to set limits in order to receive what she wants.

Giving up Blame

When a woman gives too much, she begins to blame her partner (who is usually oblivious to the situation). Similarly, when a man finds his partner being negative or unreceptive, he begins to blame his partner. Either way, blaming doesn’t help.

When this situation occurs, instead of blaming his female partner for being resentful, a man can be compassionate and offer his support even if she doesn’t ask for it, listen to her even if at first it sounds like blame, and help her to trust and open up to him by doing little things for her to show that he cares.

A woman can show her husband she loves him by forgiving her partner’s imperfections, espcioally when he disappoints her, trust that he wants to give more when he doesn’t offer support, and encourage to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing to ask for his support.

3 Steps for Healing a Relationship

1. Motivation
2. Responsibility: accept responsibility for your share of the down spiral. My mom always says that you can only clap with two hands (it sounds better in Urdu.) That basically means it’s not just one person’s fault
3. Practice: Know that you’ll both make mistakes. That’s why it’s called practice

Don’t except your man to know what you want and need. They’re not very good at picking up things or knowing them intuitively. Expecting them to know and holding them responsible for it is unrealistic. They’re just not wired that way.

Learning to Receive

Setting limits and receiving are scary for women because they are afraid of rejection, judgment and abandonment. Those things are all very painful for a woman - twofold – because deep in their unconscious, women hold the incorrect belief that they are unworthy of receiving more. This belief was reinforced in childhood, every time she had to suppress her feelings, needs or wishes. (This, by the way, I believe is one of the sick foundations that I hate about desi culture).

Depending on others puts you in a vulnerable position. It’s not easy for a woman to be ignored, forgotten or dismissed, because it reaffirms the incorrect belief that she is not worthy.

It is important, though, to make a distinction between “needing” and “neediness.” “Needing” is openly reaching out for support from a man in a trusting manner, assuming that he will do his best. “Neediness” is desperately needing support because you don’t trust that you will get it. It pushes men away and makes them feel rejected and unappreciated. So I guess the difference is all about trust

Women need to realize that to have a better relationship, they don’t have to give more. Their partner will give more if they give less. They may not way up and change right away, but awareness is the first step. Setting boundaries is what is important for a woman.

Learning to Give

A man’s biggest fear is that he is not god enough or that he is incompetent. He appears most uncaring when he is afraid.

When a man gives, he risks failure, correction and disapproval. Just like women believe that they don’t deserve to be loved, deep inside, man holds the iccorect belief that he is not good enough. Ironically, the more a man cares, the more he fears failurs, the less he gives.

The first step for a man to learn to give is to realize it’s ok to make mistakes.

It’s ok to fail. He doesn’t have all the answers.

For men, when women complain or are unhappy, they feel like failures. Many women don’t realize how much men need love too. Love helps a man know that he is enough to fulfill others. Let your man know when he’s taking good care of you and that you trust and appreciate him.

This post is so random…so excuse my ranting.

I have globophobia, which is an irrational fear of balloons. I’m not ashamed of it, it’s just something that’s a part of me. And I wouldn’t mind telling people, if they didn’t look at me as if I’ve sprouted antennae right after I tell them. Oh, and by “people”, I mean “desis.” Sadly, I don’t really think that the majority of people back home understand phobias. Every time it does happen to crop up, they’ll kind of stare at me as if I’m stupid or as if they’re waiting for me to take back what I said. My own parents won’t admit I have globophobia! Forget getting aquaintances and aunties to understand.

So – what is it exactly? I forgot who – but someone – asked me recently if I imagine the balloons attacking me or turning into monsters or something. I thought that was pretty hilarious  No. That is most certainly not the case. I’m not a three year old  I’m a healthy, (fairly) normal 24 year old woman. Globophobia – for me – isn’t the actual fear of the balloon, it’s the anticipation of it popping. Hence, the bigger and shinier they are, the more nervous I am. And, what gets even weirder is that I’m not afraid of the popping. I like it when they pop. Because then they are gone. Good riddance.

I hate it. I’d like to tell my parents – and all those desis and everyone else who looks at me strange when I mention it – trust me, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t be globophobic.

I think it took root at my first birthday party – kids kept coming in my face and popping balloons. Childhood trauma

Now, any time I go to a party, the entire ride, my palms are sweating (literally), my heart is palpating and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. It’s quite horrible. I hate it. I’m gripped with this terror the whole time. It sounds ridiculous, perhaps, but there you have it. And the whole time, I’ll just be thinking about how I can leave early. Once there, I assess the situation quickly. I have to go through all these  mental maneuvers and consolations to keep my heart from palpating, to keep my breathing even – “It’ll be over soon” – “Look, dessert! Ooh, cheesecake!” – “Don’t  look that way – this side of the room doesn’t have any” – “It’s ok, just send the kids to their dad if they want balloons.”

There you have it. I admitted it to the world (or anyone willing to read through all of this waffle).

I have an irrational fear of balloons. And to anyone who thinks it’s stupid or doesn’t make sense — I. Don’t. Care.

My mom makes these Peanut Butter Rice Krispie treats – y’know, cause it’s so hard to find halal marshmallows? A looong time ago, she got the recipe from a friend. They’re really good – nice and chewy! I never tried to make them at home though.

Yesterday we had a bunch of guests over, so I thought I’d forego my usual trifle (I figure people are sick of it by now….) and look up something new. I made these “Crunchy Fudge Sandwiches.” Maaan they came out niiice. I know I’ll be making these a lot And they’re so easy to make too – takes 20 minutes tops!

Here’s the link to their site and I’ll put it here too, in case they take it down.

Ingredients:

Procedure:

This section is about how Al-Nawawi stood up in defense of the people against the sultan. It is quite lengthy and includes the actual text of the letters sent to the Sultan. If I were to discuss the stories, I might as well type up the whole chapter. So inshaAllah a few snippets and the gist of the letters will have to do. 

Al-Nawawi understood very well the evil of disobeying Allah. He would not accept or remain silent in the presence of any evil, no matter who or what the source. He stood up for the sake of Allah and he feared the punishment of no one but Allah. He once stated that he considered dying for the sake of Allah an act of worship.

Hence, he would stand up to the king, the other scholars, the powers that be and anyone else for the sake of Allah.

At the same time, he understood very well the words of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:

“The religion is sincere advice.”

He took it upon himself to advise those who were doing wrong. He used soft speech and convincing arguements from the Qur’an and Sunnah wherever appropriate. If this had no affect, then he would take a harsher approach to try to correct the wrong that appeared around him.

The leader of the Muslims during much of Al-Nawawi’s lifetime was Sultan al-Dhaahir. He was the one who fought the Mongols and handed them a great defeat. However, his status and popularity did not prevent Al-Nawawi from standing up to him when he was wrong. He would approach him personally in the Hall of Justice (Daar al-’Adl) or write to him if necessary.

He wrote many letters to the Sultan in defense of the people. First, he wrote to him in regards to the unfair taxes on the people and later on because of the harsh treatment in regards to their properties.

Al-Nawawi also stood up for his peers – other scholars – against the government. The government said that they could only teach one school at a time, and this was making it difficult for them to make ends meet. [Note that Al-Nawawi never took pay for teaching, so there wasn't anything in it for him.]

Here is one of the shorter stories:

Sultan al-Dhaahir Baibars understood the dangers of the Mongols close by. Hence, he decided to do what he could to defeat them and drive them further out of the lands of the Muslims. He asked for a fatwa from the scholars that would allow him to take money from the citizenry in order to use it in his battles against the Mongols. The scholars issued such a fatwa for him. He asked if any scholar refused to write such a letter and he was told that only Al-Nawawi refused. The sultan had Al-Nawawi bought to him and he asked him personally to sign with the other scholars. However, Al-Nawawi refused. When the sultan asked him why, he replied:

“I know that you used to be a slave of the Ameer Banduqaar and you did not have any weath. Then Allah bestowed his bounty upon you and you became the ruler. I have heard that you have one thousand male slaves and each of them as a girth [by which the horse's saddle is tied] of gold. And you have two hundred slave girls and each of them has a portion of gold jewelry. If you spend all of that and you leave your slaves with straps and dyes instead of gold girths, and you leave the slave girls with their clothing and no jewelry, then I will give you a fatwa that you can take wealth from the citzenry.”

The sultan got upset with him and had him banished from Damascus. Al-Nawawi then left to Nawa. Perhaps there was more than one event that led to the Sultan’s actual decision to banish him, Allah knows best.

Another lesson that one of the scholars noted on this story: Notice how the although the Sultan’s cause was a noble one, Al-Nawawi refused as he saw the means as improper.

Pious intentions do not make illegal means permissible.

His Death

Shortly before his death, Al-Nawawi returned to his hometown of Nawa. There are two different stories as to why he returned. Basically, they are about the Sultan expelling him from Damascus because he would not accept any sort of wrong. AnNawawi went to visit his teachers and colleagues in Damascus, both alive and dead, at their cemetaries, to bid them farewell. He then went to Jerusalem, and then back home to Nawa. Allah knows best.

After a short period of time in Nawa, he fell ill and passed away. He died in 676 A.H (1277 CE). He died at the age of 44. However, his accomplishments during his short life span were equal or greater than many who lived even twice as long as he did. May Allah reward him greatly for all of his efforts and striving for the sake of Allah. May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.

When the news of his death reached the people of Damascus, their eyes flowed with tears at the loss of one of the greatest scholars and leaders. Indeed, he was greatly beloved by almost everyone’s life he touched.

Al-Nawawi wished that his grave be according to the Sunnah. The people – and we should say ignorant people –  however, refused that. They wanted to make his grave a prominent place for visiting. However, every time they tried to build something, it was destroyed. So, finally, they left it slightly marked and according to the Sunnah.

I realize that I have not been keeping up with my notes from Precious Provisions. I really need to take a time management class…Anyways, we shall continue inshaAllah with the Fiqh of Men’s Clothing.

After this is the sisters’ Fiqh of Clothing!

Precious Provisions

taught by Yasir Qadhi

Section 4: Fiqh of Men’s Clothing

 Isbaal

Isbaal comes from the verb sabala, which means to proceed down. Sabeel means a path/tunnel. So Isbaal technically means to lower the garments below the ankles.

*For women, this ruling is irrelevant.*

Once upon a time, isbaal was a sign of extravagance and arrogance. Amongst the Arabs, cloth was a rare commodity. Most Arabs only had two garments that they owned. Even the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam probably had three garments, at most, at the same time. So, they would wear what clothes they had at a high level [as in, high on their bodies] so as not to soil the garments. The rich and elite that could flaunt their wealth would make a point to wear their garments very low. Every culture and society has a way of flaunting their wealth – whether it’s through designer brands, etc. The way the Arabs did it was by lowering the garments. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam forbade this act.

The question arose: why was it forbidden? Was it associated with the pride and arrogance? Or is the act itself haram,  regardless of intention?

ALL SCHOLARS AGREE that someone doing this out of arrogance, it is a major sin. The question arises: what if it is out of culture or habit? There are two predominant opinions.

1. It haraam in ALL circumstances. It doesn’t matter why. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam forbade it; end of story. This is a common position of scholars, the three most famous being: Ibn Hajar, AdhDhahabi and Al Arabi. Their evidences:
   • Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Whatever is below the ankles of the izaar [lower garment] is in the Fire.” (Al Bukhaari)
   • Ibn ‘Umar narrates that the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Whoever trails his garment out of pride, Allah will not look at him on the Day of judgment.” Abu Bakr said, “One of the sides of the garment drags below [the other] unless I protect myself against that.” The Prophet said, “You do not do that out of arrogance.” [Bukhaari]
   • Adh Dhahabi says that if you do it out of pride there is a double punishment.
2. It is makruh. By and large, the standard position of all four madhabs and An Nawawi, and Ibn Taymiyyah is that if it is out of culture and not pride, then it is makruh, and not sinful.
   • They take both of the hadith in the same chapter and do not view them as distinct.
   • The fact that one hadith mentions arrogance, pride, and the other one doesn’t, it means that we understand the unconditional in light of the conditional. The prohibition for us is for the pride. in hadith narrated by Ibn ‘Umar, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Whoever trails his garment, and he only intends with that pride, Allah will not look at him on the day of judgment.” [Muslim]
   • Abu Bakr told the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam that sometimes his garment would drag (and they didn’t have belts), it would get loose on one side and go below the ankle. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said that, “You do not do it out of arrogance.” [hadith in Bukhaari]. The reason for the prohibition is clearly kibr [arrogance].
   • They also understand the sahabah and tabi’oon in light of these hadith. There are many reports from earlier scholars that they used to lower their garments.
     • Of them is Ibn Mas’ood. He is one of the narrators of the hadith, and yet he himself would wear garments that go below the ankles. When he was asked why, he said, “Because my legs are skinny.” Ibn Mas’ood had some deformity on his legs, and some of the sahabah laughed at them, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam became angry at them and said, “Do you laugh at his legs? Wallahi, they are heavier in the eyes of Allah than the mount of Uhud.” He felt awkward, and would therefore wear long garments.
     • Abu Haneefah wore a long garment below the ankle. He asked if it was forbidden, and he said that it is forbidden for those who show off.
     • Ash Shafi’ee said that it is not permissible for arrogance.

Our classical scholars understood the prohibition to be with the arrogance associated with the isbaal. The arrogance-conotation disappeared with the second generation. In our times, in western lands, no human beings associates long trousers with arrogance.

Bottom line: It depends on the culture. To require someone to do it in the US, it is not something our shari’ah asks of us.

The Beard – Lihya

The salaf (pious predecessors) used to say that Allah has honored men with beards and Allah has honored women with long hair.

Throughout centuries and civilizations, a beard was a sign of manlihood. When the Gillette company invented the disposable razor in 1902, the fad took root. For most of mankind’s existence, it was rarely done and considered effeminate.

Some Hadith regarding the beard:

‘Aa`isha narrated that the Prophet sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam said, “Ten matters are from the fitra: trimming the mustache, leaving the beard to grow, brushing the teeth, cleansing the nose with water, trimming the nails, washing the baraajim (joints between the fingers), plucking the underarm hair, and shaving the pubes.” One narrator added: “I forgot the tenth, unless it was: washing the mouth with water.” [Muttafaq 'alayhi - which basically means "agreed upon by Muslim and Bukhaari ] 

As disgusted at we would feel leaving the other eight, we should feel the same disgust for leaving the mustache and the beard.

“Trimming the mustache” has two opinions: trimming and shaving completely. The point is that it is to be trimmed so that it is not an unhealthy amount, where it interferes with the food.

Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam said, “Be different from the pagans; let the beard grow and trim the mustache.” And when Ibn ‘Umar would perform Hajj or ‘Umrah, he would hold on to his beard, and whatevevr descended below, he would remove it. [Al Bukhaari]

There is no authentic hadith in which the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam trimmed his beard. We know for a fact that he had a large beard because the sahabah would be able to tell if he was reciting in a silent prayer by the movement of his beard.  

What Constitutes a Beard?

The word lihya is used in the Sunnah and the Qur’aan (when Musa held onto Harun’s beard[1]).

Lihya comes from laha, which means the area of the bones upon which the teeth grow. According to the word laha, your lihya would be the places where the beard grows

The lihya is the hair which grows on the laha. A small group of scholars say that this would be the bones were the front teeth grow – which is a goatee? Basically. This is a difference of linguistics, and not fiqh.

ALL SCHOLARS agree that is the hair on the chin. The vast majority agree that the hair on the cheekbones is included. The vast majority also agree that the hair on the throat and the hair under the eyes is NOT part of the lihya.

Never give a khutbah or a halaqa about the beard, because we have far bigger things to talk about!

Waajib or Sunnah?

It is waajib/obligatory. This is the opinion of the vast majority of scholars, so much so that some have narrated ijmaa` on this. Of those who have said there is Ijmaa` is ibn Hazm. 

They agree that is waajib to grow a beard – but what is the minimum? Some of the many opinions:

• Haraam to trim in any fashion or form – unheard of opinion in classical Islam. A noble, esteemed Grand Mufti of our times took this opinion and popularized it. very solitary opinion
• It is makruh to trim – standard position of shafi’ee madhab
• Mubah – some shafi’ee scholars say, given the condition that you have more than a fistful and it is during hajj/umrah (hadith of ibn ‘Umar)
• Hambali madhab and Ibn taymiyyah – permissible to trim more than a fistful at any time
• You should trim beyond a fistful at any time – standard position of Hanafi
• It is mustahab, and shaving it completely is makruh. This is the standard position of modern Shafi’ees in Al Ahzar.

It may be mustahab to have a fistful (YQs opinion), but trimming even to the #1 setting would qualify as a beard.

What does NOT qualify is: the chin strap (pencil beard), or a two day shadow

The popular conception amongst the masses is that it is simply  Sunnah because of Al Ahzar’s fatwas. There is ijmaa` that this was never the case. Because the majority of the Muslims believe that the beard is Sunnah and don’t have a beard, we cannot judge them, because Allah will judge them based on what they know. Concentrate on the bigger picture

The Etiquettes of the Beard

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam would regularly comb and put oil on his hair. That means he wanted his hair to look healthy. In our times we have shampoo and conditioner, etc. Don’t go overboard in your looks though, because that is effeminate. Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.

There is a hadith in which a man came to the Prophet sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam looking unkempt, and the Prophet asked him if he could afford it and told him to take care of himself.

It is makruh to pluck the white hair.

It is haram/makruh to die white hair with black. The time it is allowed is before the battle in which the enemy will think you are young.

It is Sunnah to die it with henna and other non black colors. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did so.

When the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam conquered Makkah, Abu Bakr bought his father (Abu Quhafah) and his father was an old man, and he had been an ardent enemy of Islam for the last 20 years. Abu Quhafah was carried on the backs of men because he was too old to walk. His hair was white as a pigeon. After 20 years of open hostility, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam was gentle with him and smiled and joked with him. He said to Abu Bakr: “Why didn’t you leave the shaykh [old man] at home? It was more befitting that I go to visit him.” When such kindness was showered upon Abu Quhafah, he accepted Islam. As he was leaving, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam told the women around him, “Go change the color of his hair, but make sure you don’t choose black.” It shows us that it is Sunnah to have your hair dyed if it is pure white (because he commanded them to). The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam had speckles of white in his hair, so you don’t have to dye that.

So this is part 3 of my Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series.

Stress Relief: the  Cave of Solitude

Men and women cope with stress VERY differently. Men tend to become increasingly focused and withdrawn, while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. Men feel better by solving their problems and women feel better by talking about them

That is because martians are cavemen at heart A man will retreat to his cave (deep, deep in his cave…) to find a solution to his problem. And he will become so focused on solving his problem that he will temporarily lose awareness of everything else. This translates into becoming distant, forgetful and preoccupied. After all, Martians feel good about themselves when they accomplish goals themselves; there is no reason to bother anyone else. When he does solve his problem, he’ll feel better and reemerge from his cave.

If he can’t find a solution, he will remain stuck in the save. To become unstuck – and to help him focus better – he may solve problems of a smaller degree to help him forget the bigger problem. For example, he may read the news, exercise, etc.

How Women Feel About the Cave

In three words : We hate it

That’s because we feel ignored by his withdrawing and powerless that we can’t “hear a man out” to make him feel better. (Remmeber, it’s all about perspective. For a woman, hearing her out would be helping her). Not talking to her is hurtful because she feels that he doesn’t love her.

Stress Relief: When Women Talk

When women are stressed out, they like to talk. It relaxes and makes a woman feel good when she feels someone is there to listen to her. Men, however, may feel that the woman is blaming him. Because men talk about problems for only two reasons: they are blaming someone or seeking a solution.

Ah, that explains so much

Very simple, ladies: just tell your man that you talk when you are upset because it is a way of siphoning out all those overwhelming emotions, frustration and anger. Once you are emotionally stable, you can deal with your problems. All he has to do is listen and sympathize. (And  you may want to add that “listening” translates to “undivided attention” in Venesian).

A few reasons why men get frustrated by our venting sessions:

1. They become impatient by details because they feel that they are necessary to solve the problem. And since men are problem-solvers, they are trying hard to keep up with all of the gibberish we spit out. (Although, I felt like this totally didn’t apply to me…unnecessary details are my pet peeve).

2. He assumes that there is a logical order to the ranting. It’s hard to link up all of the different problems. They are not related at all, in fact.

3. He is looking for the bottom line.

As a woman, we know how we work. Explain the concept of talking to your husband Let him know that when you’re upset about something, it reminds you of other problems and suddenly you’re incredibly overwhelmed by everything. All you need is a good ear and some sympathy.

Practice

Next time your hubby goes to the cave, let him Realize he’s just trying to work though a problem and when he’s ready, he’ll come out. In the mean time, go shopping, listen to a lecture…have some girl time

Also, if your hubby is acting like a space cadet, it’s probably because he’s stressed. Ask him point blank. Makes things easier.

Aqeedah

An-Nawawi never wrote a book on aqeedah. His aqeedah may, however, be derived from his commentary on Sahih Muslim.

When talking about difference of aqeedah, at least from what I noted in the chapter, the author is referring to the Names and Attributes of Allah subhaana wa ta’aala. Whatever Allah and His Messenger have said about Allah’s Attributes is accepted and true; without needing to reinterpret. Reinterpretation is known as ta’weel. For example, interpreting “Allah’s Hand” to mean His Power or Mercy would be ta’weel. Allah says He has a Hand, therefore, we believe that He has a Hand. wAllahu ‘Alam (Allah knows best).

An-Nawawi made ta’weel in his commentary of Sahih Muslim, but it would seem that An-Nawawi was not consistent in doing it. Therefore, there are many different opinions as to what aqeedah he followed.

May Allah have mercy on Ibn Taymiyyah, who said,

Almost everyone of the later scholars had some mistakes in his writings due to the misconceptions and confusions spread by the heretics. That is why one will find in many o fthe writings on legal theory, creed, fiqh, asceticism, Qur’anic commentary, and hadith, that a person will quote a number of different views and people but the view with which Allah sent His Messenger will not be mentioned. This is not because they do not like what the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam taught, but simply because they had no knowledge of it.

An-Nawawi lived at a time in which the Ashari school of thought was dominant. In the introduction of his Majmoo’, he wrote that one should resort to ta’weel in order to refute the heretic groups.

Some people of to two extremes when it comes to An-Nawawi: some reject all of  his works because he made ta’weel on some occasions, whereas others may blindly follow him, even in that which goes against the Qur’an and Sunnah. Of course, both such people would be incorrect. Following a middle path is more correct, as Ibn Taymiyyah so beautifully said:

No one is permitted to follow the slips of the scholars. Similarly, no one is allowed to say anything about the people of knowledge and father except for what is becoming of them. Verily, Allah has overlooked the mistakes of the believers. Allah says [in the Qur’an as a supplication], “Our Lord, do not hold us responsible if we forget or err.” (2:286) And Allah said, “I have done so.” We have been ordered to follow that what has been revealed for us from our Lord and we do not accept or follow anyone else as our patron besides Him. We have also been ordered not to obey any created being in an act which is disobedience to the Creator. Furthermore, we seek forgiveness for our brothers who proceeded us in faith. We say [as Allah has taught us in the Qur’an]: “Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who have proceeded us in faith.”

Even if we feel that a scholar following the Qur’an and Sunnah made a mistake, we must maintain our respect for them. We should also keep in mind that just because someone has made a mistake in aqeedah, it does not doom him to hell. Perhaps the person was a mujtahid [exercising his mental capabilities and striving to find the truth], for whom Allah has forgiven his mistake. It is also possible that he didn’t have enough information about the topic to come to the correct conclusion.

Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked about An-Nawawi and ibn Hajr, and he gave a lengthy reply. I’m just posting a snippet here:

The two shaykhs and preservers of the religion have their place of prominence, honesty and great benefit for the Muslim nation. Even if they made some mistake in reinterpreting some of the texts mentioning the Attributes [of Allah], such mistakes are covered and immersed by what they had of virtue and great benefit. We suspect that what they stated was only the result of their own personal ijtihaad and a permissible form of interpretation – at least in their view.

Fiqh

An-Nawawi was of the Shafi’ee school of thought. Among the Shafi’ees, an-Nawawi and al-Rafi’ee became known as al-shaikhain, or “the two shaikhs.”

He was a great faqih (jurist). He was not muta’asib (a blind and patriotic follower of a specific school of fiqh). That basically means he could follow the laws of the Shari’ah directly from the Qur’an and Sunnah. He had a great love for the hadith of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. He was much better grounded in hadith than a lot of scholars. In the long run, it made him a superior jurist.

Writings

There are three aspects that stand out in an-Nawawi’s writings:

1. They are widely accepted and appreciated.
2. He wrote so much in a short period of time (again, look at how blessed his time was). He was only 44 when he died. In a span of 12 – 13 years, he compiled some of the most important works in Islam. It is said that he wrote 50 books.
3. An-Nawawi’s style of writing – the clarity, conciseness and comprehensiveness of his writing.

A Great Sunnah

Another thing I’d like to mention here is that an-Nawawi began a great Sunnah for this Ummah. Before an-Nawawi, scholars – even the  scholars of hadith – would mention hadith in their books without mentioning if the hadith was authentic or not. In his works of fiqh, an-Nawawi discussed the hadith, mentioned who recorded it and declared whether it was authentic or not.

Some of his most famous works include:

Al Majmoo’ Sharh al-Muhadhdhab

Along with Ibn Qudhamah’s Al Mughni, this is considered one of the best fiqh works ever. It is a commentary on fiqh

His Commentary on Sahih Muslim

It is the best commentary on hadith ever, along with Ibn Hajr’s Fath al-Baari (a commentary on Bukhari). An-Nawawi was an expert in hadith, Arabic language and fiqh, making this commentary the main reference for Sahih Muslim. It was one of the last works that an-Nawawi completed in his lifetime. He completed it in two years.

He began a commentary on Bukhari, but unfortunately, he never completed it

Riyadh as Saliheen (Gardens of the Righteous)

This is a collection of Qur’anic verses and hadith arranged according to topic. Just like the 40 hadith, many scholars have written similar books, but none so widely accepted and popular as an-Nawawi’s. One reason for popularity: there are very few weak hadith. This is not surprising, as an-Nawawi was a very strong scholar of hadith.

Raudhat al Talibeen wa Umdat al Mufteen

This is one of the most important works of the Shafi’ee school of thought. It is an abridged version of one of al-Rafi’ee’s works. Not only is it abridged, but an-Nawawi often differed with the authors conclusions. Amongst the other interesting aspects of this book is that he distinguishes Shafi’ee’s old views in Iraq from the new ones in Egypt. Unfortunately,  an-Nawawi left out evidences for the positions he stated. He meant to edit it, but passed away before he could.

Minhaj al-Taalibeen

Another one of the most important fiqh works of the Shafi’ee madhab (or school of thought) : ) an-Nawawi abridged al-Rafi’ee’s Al-Muharrar. Since the time of an-Nawawi, it is standard practice for the Shafi’ee’s to memorize this work.

Students

An-Nawawi taught for many years and many people benefited from him. Amongst his well known students: ibn al-Attar, the great scholars of hadith Jamaal al-Deen al-Mizzi, Abu al-Abbaas ibn Faraah, al-Badr Muhammad ibn Jamaah and Abu al-Rabi al-Haashimi.

We can learn a lot by looking at the lives of the pious predecessors. They should be our role models and the ones we strive to immitate. I personally love to read about the companions, scholars and prophets. Their stories are so uplifting and really make me feel shameful for how much time I waste and the life I live. Their examples are such an inspiration for Muslims everywhere.

Their examples demonstrate that in every age, there were pious Muslims who followed the way of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam without compromise and without giving into the desires of this world.

A lot of the time, I think we tend to see scholars and companions as in a far off world, as if they lived in a Eutopic world in which they didn’t have to face the real life problems that we face. On the contrary, I believe that their problems were far worse than ours.

The author says that he kept the chapter on the Imam’s life brief, but it’s 40+ pages long, mashaAllah! And worth reading every letter Alhamdulillah I split the chapter on the Imam’s life into three parts: his life, his aqeedah and works, and lastly his bravery (which I believe are mostly stories of him standing up for justice to the rulers). A lot of it is just taken straight from the book, because his life was so amazing, I just didn’t want to leave anything out

An-Nawawi: The Life

Background and Childhood

An-Nawawi lived during very turbulent times for the Muslims. In the 7^th Century after Hijra (or 11^th century A.C), the Mongols were invading the Muslims from the East and the Crusaders from the West. Despite these difficult times, the scholars of Islam kept the light of Islamic knowledge strong. Noor al-Deen Zanki (d. 569) revived Islamic studies in Ash-Shaam (“Greater Syra”). He opened many schools, including the first Dar al-Hadith in Damascus, Aleppo.

His name was Muhi al-Deen Abu Zakariya Yahya ibn Sharaf al-Hizaami al-Nawawi.

Muhi al-Deen means “the one who gives life to the religion.” He disliked this nickname, although many would say that the name became him. He did not like to be called it out of modesty. “Abu Zakariya” was also just a kunya, as he never had any children.

An Nawawi’s family was not very well knock. There is very little mention, if any, of his grandfather, father or any relatives. This implies that they were a modest family. They were not known for producing great scholars. His father did have a reputation for being God fearing and pious. His father would avoid, and taught his family to avoid, eating anything that may be forbidden in any way whatsoever.

From his youth, Yahya al-Nawawi was not attracted to sports or playing. Indeed, the other children chided him for this. From an early age, he turned his attention to studies. He hated any activity that would take him away from the memorization of the Qur’an. SubhaanAllah!

On one occasion, the children forced him to play with them and he cried because of the time he was wasting  time.

At the age of 18, his father took him to Damascus to continue his studies. He excelled in the Shafi’ee school of fiqh, memorizing some of its more important texts. He performed pilgrimage to Makkah, visited Madinah and other locations, but returned to Damascus to continue his studies. He remained in Damascus, until just prior to his death, when he returned to his hometown in Nawa.

In Pursuit of Knowledge

An-Nawawi first studied at the Saaramiya school in Damascus. This is where his father left him. He had no housing there whatsoever. After some time, he approached the Shaykh of the school and asked f he had any housing, as many of the schools did house their students. They had no housing so the Shaykh suggested that he go to the Rawaahiyah school. There, he was given a very small room in which he lived for a number of years. In fact, he remained in  that small room until he was named the head of the Ashrafiya school, a number of years later. It was stated that, when one visited him, the room was so small and the books were so many, t hat the only wy to sit was to remove the books and pile them on top of each other to make some room to sit.

His life was consumed by learning. At one point, he attended 12 lectures a day! At the age of 24, he began teaching at the Ashrafiyh school. His reputation and excellence as a scholar began to be recognized by all the scholars and inhabitants of Damascus.

It is even stated that when he would not sleep until sleep would overtake him. He would rest on his book and sleep for a little, then he would act startled upon wakening and continue studying.

An-Nawawi once said, “I spent two years without lying on the ground [to sleep] on my side.” That is, he would always study and write until sleep overtook him while in a sitting position. Al-Qutb al-Yauneen said about him, “He would not waste any moment of the day or night but he would spend it busy with attaining knowledge. Even when he is walking n the streets, he will be busy going over what he had remembered and reviewing his notes. He continued gaining knowledge in that way for a period of six years.”

It seems – and only Allah knows the reality – that Allah truly blessed his time. Perhaps this was due to a sincere intention to please Allah. Because between the 12 lectures he attended and the time it took to review and memorize all of what he studied, there wasn’t time left in the day – and that isn’t even considering things such as eating, obligatory acts of worship, etc.!

A Humble Life

He led a very simple, austere life. Some narrations state that all the clothing he possessed was a turban and a long gown! (Compare that to how many dozens of clothes we own…)

At one point in time, he would not eat anything except some cake and olives that his father would send him from time to time from Nawa. One of the reasons for this was that he was certain that such food came from permissible sources. He would refuse even permissible things out of fear that they may lead him to doubtful matters.

An-Nawawi chose to lead a simple and pure life, although it would have been possible for him to live otherwise. Once, Chief Justice Sulaimaan al-Zara’i visited him on the day of Eid. Al-Nawawi was eating some kind of broth with no meat. He asked Sulaimaan to eat with him and he said that it was not appealing to him. Sulaimaan’s brother went and brought some roasted meat and sweets. Sulaimaan told Al-Nawawi to eat from it, but he refused. Sulamaan said to  him, “O my brother, is this forbidden?” An-Nawawi said, “No, but it is the food of the tyrants [and the extravagant].” Compare that to us – we have meat at least twice a day on normal days. This was the day of Eid! They used to consider having meat a luxury.

An-Nawawi was well known for his modesty. Part of his modesty included never being served by any of his students, although, he served his students even in his old age.

He did not accept any money for his teaching. It seems that he may have accepted money for the first year or two, but that money was used on books that were left as endowments after he passed away.

One material possession that An-Nawawi did  own….was books As mentioned early, his tiny living quarters were basically a small warehouse of books. When Taaj al-Deen al-Subki (683-756) was asked to complete one of An-Nawawi’s works, he excused himself, saying that he did not have the number of references available to him as An-Nawawi did. It is to be noted that An-Nawawi didn’t just want a library. He benefited greatly from these books and many people have benefited greatly from An-Nawawi’s lectures and writings.

An-Nawawi Never Married

An-Nawawi is one of the famous scholars throughout history who never married. Other scholars who never married include Ibn Taymiyyah and Sayyid Qutb.

Some scholars think that An-Nawawi never married because he had so much love for learning and knowledge that he didn’t have desire for worldly things. Others say that perhaps he fears that he would not be able to give a wife her due rights.

Compare that to the youth of today! Because we cannot control our physical desires, we think that marriage is the overnight fixer – often not taking into account the responsibilities of marriage.

An-Nawawi was once told that marriage is a great Sunnah and it is perhaps the only sunnah that he did not fulfill. He reply was, “I fear that I may follow one sunnah and thereby get involved in many forbidden acts.”